I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
