i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
