last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
