Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
