I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
