Betty ford says i'm here all night
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
