Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  why didn't you poke me back

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  (248): why didn't you poke me back http://tfl.nu/aomd
  Replies (5) Good night (1706) Bad night (1846)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

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  (810): I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again http://tfl.nu/f45r
  Replies (1) Good night (1612) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.

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  (865): Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet. http://tfl.nu/z1qf
  Replies (8) Good night (3432) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?

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  (720): have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing? http://tfl.nu/o8yl
  Replies (51) Good night (4598) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  the diet of an alcoholic...

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  (407): cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks. (1-407): the diet of an alcoholic... http://tfl.nu/3a7v
  Replies (15) Good night (4243) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.

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  (617): He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/v8g0
  Replies (14) Good night (5804) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities

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  (917): i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities http://tfl.nu/habk
  Replies (30) Good night (7514) Bad night (2886)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.

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  (240): Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present. http://tfl.nu/qzgl
  Replies (9) Good night (4405) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.

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  (484): all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar. http://tfl.nu/zjrs
  Replies (1) Good night (1553) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.

  (637): View more from

  We made popcorn last night. So it's both

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  (908): It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one. (637): We made popcorn last night. So it's both http://tfl.nu/itvi
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.

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  (845): Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent. http://tfl.nu/1ynv
  Replies (10) Good night (909) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I had to warn the neighbors

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Warn them about what?! It's noon

  (914): View more from New York

  "Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...

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  (914): I had to warn the neighbors (757): Warn them about what?! It's noon (914): "Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess... http://tfl.nu/j7iv
  Replies (4) Good night (807) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"

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  (306): dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high" http://tfl.nu/ssrm
  Replies (3) Good night (1097) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  If tits could talk, mine would be bragging

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  (+61): If tits could talk, mine would be bragging http://tfl.nu/uf52
  Replies (3) Good night (664) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.

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  (586): Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed. http://tfl.nu/40ub
  Replies (3) Good night (356) Bad night (692)

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