He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.