Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
