Having a random hookup so left but love u
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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