Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.

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  (708): High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay. http://tfl.nu/m4rp
  Replies (20) Good night (5190) Bad night (882)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night

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  (206): woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night http://tfl.nu/9u90
  Replies (14) Good night (6309) Bad night (977)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.

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  (410): she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night. http://tfl.nu/m7fi
  Replies (5) Good night (2503) Bad night (1031)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."

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  (605): Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great." http://tfl.nu/846x
  Replies (15) Good night (2558) Bad night (2801)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.

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  (705): Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences. http://tfl.nu/318s
  Replies (2) Good night (2251) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  That's practically a relationship for you

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  (479): Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week. (1-479): That's practically a relationship for you http://tfl.nu/hhkc
  Replies (26) Good night (1956) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.

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  (618): I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door. http://tfl.nu/79gl
  Replies (17) Good night (2779) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I hear you

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  (613): I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting. (250): I hear you http://tfl.nu/kr1l
  Replies (7) Good night (2230) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick

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  (201): thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick http://tfl.nu/xnq8
  Replies (9) Good night (1152) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass

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  (615): Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic. (615): And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass http://tfl.nu/370d
  Replies (0) Good night (663) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.

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  (419): I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama. (574): Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts. http://tfl.nu/mgxx
  Replies (1) Good night (1341) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|

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  (570): He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =| http://tfl.nu/59tx
  Replies (5) Good night (236) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor

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  (609): I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor http://tfl.nu/zg4s
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.

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  (520): Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband. http://tfl.nu/8kmu
  Replies (2) Good night (279) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.

  (305): View more from Florida

  They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.

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  (305): Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out. (407): Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates. (305): They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize. http://tfl.nu/akvq
  Replies (5) Good night (438) Bad night (318)

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