Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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