maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
