just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You're a waste of cheezeits
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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