508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Please, let me fuck your mom
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
