Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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