moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My pussy is not your playground.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
