like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I'm really busy with my period
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