I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
