is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
