I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
