JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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