Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
