I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
