your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
