Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
