i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize