Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Buhtt sex?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
