if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
