first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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