who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
