im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
