If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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