she was so not down for the gang bang
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
