Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize