I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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