I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
