I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
