youre lurking in front of me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
