Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
