I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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