69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Say something about gay babies.
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There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
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Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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