yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
