So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
