It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
