Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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