I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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