Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
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Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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