I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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