the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
