You can't motorboat a personality
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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