very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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