Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
