Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
