DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
