...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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