I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
