If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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