Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize