I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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