Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
