Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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