Joe is yelling at the trees again.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
