I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
