exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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