I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize