they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
